#16 Why Self-Control is Your Superpower

Why Self-Control is Your Superpower

Love, joy and peace — these might be the fruits of the Spirit that get all the attention, but what if the most transformative one is actually tucked away at the end of the list?

The Last, But Certainly Not Least

"Self-control is probably one of the least talked about gifts of the Spirit," Dan noted. "We've got love, joy, peace—they're the big hitters, aren't they? Perhaps the gifts we desire most."

But what if self-control is actually the gateway to experiencing more of those other fruits in our lives?

Think about it—how can we experience more of God's love if we don't make time to receive it? How can we feel His joy when we're constantly jumping from one distraction to another? How can we know His peace when we're allowing every notification to interrupt our thoughts?

As Dan explained, "The more I've thought about self-control for this talk, the more I see it and I need it in my life. How do I know more about God? I read about him, I spend time with him. Well, I need self-control for that."

The Crisp Test

Dan shared a simple example from his own life—standing in a supermarket, staring at his favourite crisps (Marks & Spencer's sour cream and jalapeño combo mix, for those curious). Despite having already indulged in plenty of snacks the previous day, he was tempted to buy and devour an entire bag.

"I didn't buy them," he said. "I bought something else. Wow. Self-control in action."

While this might seem like a trivial example, Dan pointed out that "with all the gifts that God teaches, gives us, he teaches us through small things." These everyday choices—what we eat, what we watch, how we spend our time—might seem inconsequential, but they form the training ground for developing self-control in more significant areas.

During Conversation Street, Claire reflected on how this applies to her own health journey: "I know that I'm not as healthy as I should be, and I want to be healthier, not just for my own sake, but for the sake of my children... Even when there's such a beautiful prize as that, it's so hard."

This is the reality of self-control—even when we can clearly see the benefits of making wise choices, our flesh often pulls us in the opposite direction.

Spirit vs Flesh: The Battle for Control

In 2 Timothy 1:7, Paul writes, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." As Dan explained, the phrase "sound mind" is also translated as "self-control" or "self-discipline."

This self-control isn't something we have to manufacture through sheer willpower—it's a gift from God, a fruit of His Spirit living in us. But like any gift, we need to use it, develop it, and allow it to grow.

The ultimate example of self-control can be found in Jesus's experience in the Garden of Gethsemane. Facing the cross, Jesus prayed, "Abba Father, all things are possible for you. Take this cup away from me. Nevertheless, not what I will, but what you will."

As Dan pointed out, "Jesus was about to be crucified. He knew what was coming up. He had ultimate self-control. He could have run, he could have said, no, God, I can't do this. But he knew why he was there."

In contrast, the disciples—who Jesus asked to keep watch and pray—fell asleep repeatedly. Jesus's response? "The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Claire reflected on this during Conversation Street: "Imagine, like, being Peter, James and John, and Jesus saying to you, oh, you know, just wait and pray... And, and, and then, and then finding, like, Jesus coming and waking you up, you'd be like, so gutted."

This tension between our willing spirit and weak flesh is where self-control becomes so crucial. As believers, we have the Holy Spirit empowering us to overcome our natural inclinations—but we still have to make the choice to yield to Him.

The Butterfly Effect: God's Transformation Power

One of the most powerful analogies Dan shared was about metamorphosis—the extraordinary transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly or a tadpole into a frog.

"God gives great examples of his power and his word in creation, doesn't he?" Dan reflected. "The more I think about metamorphosis, it just blows my mind. Does the butterfly remember its past? Does the frog remember it didn't need to breathe air back when it was a tadpole?"

This is a beautiful picture of what God does in us. "I know that God works a complete change in us," Dan continued. "We're the same being. The past is still our past, but it doesn't have to affect our future. God is in the business of transformation. Utter, beautiful transformation."

Romans 12:2 captures this perfectly: "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

Transformation doesn't happen overnight—it's a process that requires consistent, daily choices. But with each choice to exercise self-control, we're allowing God's transforming power to work more deeply in our lives.

One Discipline Strengthens All

During Conversation Street, Dan shared how developing self-control in one area of his life strengthened his ability to exercise discipline in other areas:

"I was overweight. My doctor said, yeah, your cholesterol is going to go down... So doing that and losing weight and going to the gym has really helped my prayer life because that same discipline is used, is used everywhere. It's not, it's not wasted."

This is the domino effect of self-control—when we develop it in one area, it builds our capacity in every other area. The discipline to wake up early for exercise becomes the discipline to make time for prayer. The self-control to say no to unhealthy food becomes the self-control to say no to unhealthy thoughts.

Graham added in the comments that "steadfastness is also a feature here. When we fail, with God's help, we can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start all over again." This is the beauty of God's grace—He doesn't leave us in our failures but invites us to keep growing, keep trying, keep developing the gift of self-control He's placed within us.

Your Self-Control Challenge

As we conclude our series on the fruits of the Spirit, here's a challenge to help you develop greater self-control this week:

1. Identify your weak spots : Where do you most often find your "flesh" overriding your "spirit"? Is it with food, social media, spending, or somewhere else?

2. Start small : Choose one small area where you can practice self-control this week. Remember, God teaches us through small things.

3. Connect it to a greater purpose : Remind yourself why this self-control matters. How will it help you experience more of God or serve others better?

4. Ask for help : Remember, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Ask God daily to develop this fruit in your life.

5. Get back up when you fall : When you inevitably stumble, remember Graham's words—with God's help, you can dust yourself off and start again.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind [self-control]." (2 Timothy 1:7)