Time Stamps

• 00:00:00 - Welcome to Crowd Church with Matt and Dan

• 00:04:00 - Talk begins: The Power of Forgiveness with Sharon Edmundson

• 00:05:40 - What forgiveness isn't: Setting the record straight

• 00:08:00 - Sharon's personal journey with unforgiveness and anger

• 00:13:48 - Jesus' parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35)

• 00:21:00 - The practical sheet for processing forgiveness

• 00:28:00 - Conversation Street: Answering your questions about forgiveness

The Radical Freedom of Letting Go

Forgiveness is one of those topics that sounds simple on the surface but becomes incredibly complex when we actually try to live it out. As Sharon shared in her talk this Sunday, most of us have heard about forgiveness our entire lives, but that doesn't mean we truly understand it.

"For all of us, some things are easier to forgive than others," Sharon reminded us. We might easily forgive a damaged jacket or a minor slight, but what about when someone spreads harmful rumours about us? Or when a medical misdiagnosis leads to serious health consequences? Or in the most extreme cases, when someone we love is killed by a drunk driver?

It's in these moments that we might find ourselves saying, "I won't forgive them because they don't deserve it" or "What they've done is unforgivable."

But the Bible presents a radically different approach to dealing with hurt.

What Forgiveness Isn't

Before diving into what forgiveness is, Sharon clarified several misconceptions:

• Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation

• It's not excusing or condoning wrong actions

• It's not ignoring an offense or pretending it didn't happen

• It's not cancelling the consequences (you can forgive and still pursue justice)

• It's not suppressing your feelings

• It's not something only weak people do

• And it's not always instant

These clarifications are crucial because many of us resist forgiveness based on misunderstandings about what we're actually being asked to do.

When Hurt Turns Inward

Sharon vulnerably shared her own experience growing up in a Christian home with a mother who struggled with an eating disorder. While she was learning about God's love and freedom at church, her home life was dominated by mental illness, anxiety and depression.

"I was so angry inside," Sharon admitted. "But I'd somehow got this idea that good Christian girls don't get angry."

This suppression of emotions—turning anger inward rather than processing it healthily—led to depression and a cycle of faking the emotions she thought she was supposed to have.

Many of us respond to hurt in similarly unhealthy ways:

1. Suppression : pushing emotions down, leading to depression or substance abuse

2. Unhealthy expression : lashing out, gossiping, seeking revenge, or trying to hurt others

Both approaches leave us trapped in a cycle of pain.

The Biblical Path to Freedom

The breakthrough for Sharon came through Ephesians 4:26-27: "Be angry, yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not give the devil an opportunity."

This scripture helped her realise that anger itself isn't necessarily sinful—sometimes it's the appropriate response to injustice. As Tim Keller puts it, "You should be angry when you see something bad threatening something good."

Even Jesus displayed righteous anger in Mark 3:1-6 when confronted with religious leaders who valued rules over human compassion.

The problem isn't feeling anger—it's what we do with it.

The Parable That Changes Everything

Jesus addressed forgiveness directly in Matthew 18:21-35 with the parable of the unforgiving servant. In this story, a servant who owes his master an astronomical amount (equivalent to about $7 billion in today's money) is forgiven his debt completely. Yet this same servant refuses to forgive a fellow servant who owes him a relatively tiny amount (about $8,000).

"This parable is about settling accounts," Sharon explained. "It's like an accounting thing."

The king represents God, and we are the servants who owe a debt we could never repay. The revolutionary message of the gospel is that God himself, in Jesus Christ, paid our debt in full.

"Can you imagine the relief, the joy?" Sharon asked. "This is the good news of the gospel—Jesus pays our debt in full."

This is what theologians sometimes call "the great exchange": Jesus taking all our sin and giving us his righteousness in return.

Making Forgiveness Practical

One of the most helpful aspects of Sharon's talk was her practical approach to forgiveness. She shared a simple accounting sheet with five columns:

1. Who hurt me? (Be specific)

2. What did they do? (List specific incidents)

3. How do I feel about it? (Connect with the emotions)

4. What do they owe me? (Identify the perceived debt)

5. My prayer of blessing for them (After releasing the debt)

"One of the keys to actually forgiving from your heart is connecting with how you feel about it," Sharon emphasised. "If we skip the emotion bit and just try and do it as a logical exercise, we are actually missing a key part."

Identifying what you feel you're owed—whether it's respect, an apology, a restored reputation, or something else—helps clarify what you're actually being asked to release.

The Cost and Freedom of Forgiveness

During Conversation Street, Sharon, Matt and Dan explored the reality that forgiveness does come with a cost. For Sharon, forgiving her mother meant she could no longer blame her for her struggles—she had to take responsibility for her own healing journey.

"For quite a while, I didn't want to do that, to be honest," she admitted.

Yet the freedom that comes from true forgiveness is worth everything. As Matt quoted, "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting it to hurt the other person." We're the ones who remain trapped when we can't forgive.

Dan added, "It's such a great feeling when it's no longer your concern... I don't need the stress in my life. God can deal with it."

Your Next Steps

If you're struggling with unforgiveness right now, here are some practical next steps:

1. Identify who you need to forgive - It might be someone else, yourself, or even (though Sharon clarified God himself never needs forgiveness, we sometimes mistakenly feel anger toward him)

2. Use the forgiveness worksheet - Work through each column honestly, with the Holy Spirit's help

3. Count the cost - What would it mean to truly release this person from their debt to you?

4. Make it visual - Physically cross out the debt as a symbol of your choice to forgive

5. Revisit as needed - Remember you've forgiven, especially when memories resurface

6. Explore these resources :

* "Forgive Release and Be Free" by Joff Day

* "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend

* Tim Keller's podcast "Praying Out Your Anger"

Remember, forgiveness isn't always instant. As Sharon shared, "When I first properly learned how to forgive, it took me a long time to get to that point where I could actually forgive, where I could process what had gone on and was ready to give it up."

But the journey toward forgiveness, however long it takes, leads to a freedom that nothing else can provide.

Join us next Sunday as Dave Connolly continues our wholeness series, exploring how we can "let go of the past" as the Apostle Paul describes in Philippians 3:13: "One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead."