Christians are hypocrites

The Hypocrisy Problem and Why Jesus Got There First

It is one of the most common reasons people give for steering clear of Christianity. "The church is full of hypocrites." And honestly? It is hard to argue. History is littered with people who claimed to follow Jesus while behaving in ways that would make him wince. From the Crusades to modern-day scandals, the gap between what Christians say and what they do has done enormous damage.

But here is the thing that gets overlooked. Jesus had the same complaint. And he was a lot more direct about it than most.

What Jesus Actually Said About Hypocrites

Sally Burch takes us to Mark chapter 12, where Jesus does not mince his words about the religious leaders of his time. "Beware of the teachers of religious law, for they like to parade around in flowing robes and receive respectful greetings as they walk into the marketplaces. And how they love the seats of honour in the synagogues and the head table at banquets. And yet they shamelessly cheat widows out of their property and pretend to be pious by making long prayers in public."

The word "hypocrite" originally meant actor — someone playing a part, presenting a character that is not who they really are. The Pharisees were revered in public, but behind the scenes they were exploiting the most vulnerable people in their community. Jesus saw through the performance and called it exactly what it was.

If your biggest issue with Christianity is hypocrisy, you are not opposing Jesus. You are agreeing with him.

The Double Standard We All Carry

Sally makes a sharp observation that applies well beyond religious circles. "We judge others by what their actions are — what they say and what they do. But we judge ourselves by our intentions."

That is worth reading twice. When someone else breaks a rule, we see the action and judge them for it. When we break the same rule, we know the reason behind it, and we give ourselves grace.

She illustrates this with a relatable example from lockdown life — parents who told their children not to meet up with friends, but then quietly allowed their own teenager to see one or two people because of mental health concerns. The intention was good. But if someone else did it, the judgement would be swift.

As Graham Marsh put it, "The opposite of hypocrisy is not perfection but authenticity." That distinction matters. Nobody is asking anyone to be perfect. What people are asking for — and rightly so — is honesty about the gap between who we claim to be and who we actually are.

The Mental Text Message

Sally shares a personal story that lands with uncomfortable accuracy. Someone had hurt a friend of hers badly, and she spent an hour composing a message in her head. "Full of witty comments, emotive language, enough insults to let them know how upset I was, but the perfect combination of examples of how they'd let this person down."

She imagined them receiving it, dropping to their knees, begging for forgiveness, issuing a public apology across all social media. Justice would be served.

And then mid-fantasy, she remembered she was preparing a talk about hypocrisy.

"Life is unfair and unjust. People are fallible and they let us down. And I can either choose to be as bad as them and retaliate, or do the opposite and maybe even try to wish them well."

She pauses after that line and adds, "Ouch. That's tough. And I definitely can't do that without help."

That honesty is exactly what this conversation needs. Not a polished answer about forgiveness, but a real person admitting that the right response is harder than the satisfying one.

When It Goes Properly Wrong

Sally does not avoid the big examples. She mentions the Crusades — hundreds of thousands killed in what were called holy wars, but were in reality power grabs dressed in religious language. She quotes Gandhi: "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ."

And she speaks directly to people who have been hurt by someone claiming to represent Jesus. "Maybe you've had a really awful experience with someone who says they're a Christian — someone who claimed to be full of the love of Jesus but actually treated you badly or in a totally unloving way. And I'm so sorry that's happened to you."

That apology is not performative. It sits alongside a clear invitation: do not judge God by what people do in his name. Look at Jesus himself instead. His track record is rather different from many of his followers.

The Difference Between Failing and Faking

There is a crucial distinction in this conversation that often gets lost. There are people who deliberately use God's name to manipulate, control, and exploit others. Jesus condemned them. They are the actors, the performers, the ones wearing the mask on purpose.

And then there are people who genuinely love God, are trying to follow Jesus, and still get things wrong. They gossip. They lose their temper. They compose mental revenge texts. They are not pretending to be perfect — they are trying to be better and frequently falling short.

"If you're looking for a model of perfection, you are not going to find it in me or anyone else," Sally says. "If you want to know what being perfect looks like, you need to look at Jesus."

Being a Christian, in other words, is not about pretending to have it all together. It is about admitting that you do not. "Jesus says he didn't come for people who have everything sorted. He came for people that are messed up. And that is brilliant news for me."

The Speed Awareness Course

In a lighter moment, Sally mentions that she was recently on a motorway driving speed awareness course. She had been caught doing sixty-nine in a variable sixty zone on a smart motorway. "I thought I was within the speed limit, but the variable speed limit had changed to sixty. So I was actually going quite a lot over."

The first question everyone on the course asked was: did everyone who was speeding that day get fined? That instinct — the immediate desire to know if justice was applied equally — reveals how deeply wired we are for fairness. From childhood ("he got to go first, it's not fair") through to adulthood, the sense that things should be just is baked into us.

That instinct is not wrong. It is actually pointing at something real. The question is what you do with it when the world fails to deliver.

Making It Real

If hypocrisy has put you off Christianity. Your frustration is valid, and Jesus shares it. But separating Jesus from the behaviour of his worst representatives is worth doing. Read what he actually said and did. You might find he is nothing like the people who put you off.

If you catch yourself being a hypocrite. Welcome to the club. Sally's advice is practical: be quick to say sorry, stay teachable, and stop pretending you have it all sorted. Authenticity generates far more respect than performance ever will.

If you are holding onto a mental text message. You do not need to send it. You also do not need to pretend you are fine. The honest middle ground is admitting that you are angry, that it is unfair, and that you need help to respond well. That is not weakness. That is self-awareness.

If someone has hurt you in the name of God. That should never have happened, and no amount of theology makes it acceptable. But writing off God because of what people have done in his name is like refusing to eat because someone once served you a bad meal. The source material is better than the imitation.

Your Next Steps

1. Read Mark 12:38-40. It is only three verses, but Jesus packs a lot into them. Notice who he is criticising and why.

2. Ask the mirror question. Where is there a gap between who you say you are and how you actually live? Not to beat yourself up — but to close the gap through honesty.

3. Be quick to say sorry. Sally learned this the hard way as a child, with a big brother who had to pave the way. She has got better over the years. So can you.

4. Stay teachable. If you remain open to correction and willing to learn from mistakes, you are already moving in the right direction. That is the opposite of hypocrisy.

The Question That Sets You Free

Sally sums it up with a simple framework: J for Jesus — study his life for how to treat people. Y (You) — you can only control your own actions. S for Sorry — get good at saying it. T for Teachable — stay open to correction.

Hypocrisy thrives in the dark. Honesty is the antidote. And a Jesus who came specifically for imperfect, struggling, work-in-progress people is far more compelling than one who demands you have it all together before you show up.

So here is the question: where in your life is there a gap between who you say you are and how you actually live — and what would it look like to start closing it?