Finding Your Tribe

When Church Feels Like an Optional Extra

Most people, if they are honest, have wondered at some point whether church is really worth it. The alarm goes off on a Sunday morning and the sofa looks far more appealing than getting dressed and heading out the door. Even for those who have been part of a church for years, there are seasons where it all feels a bit pointless.

But what if the whole idea of church was never really about what we get out of it?

In Acts 13, we find a snapshot of one of the earliest Christian communities — the church at Antioch. This was the first group of believers to actually be called Christians. And what stands out about them is not their theology or their building or their programmes. It is who they were together.

A Room Full of People Who Had Nothing in Common

The church at Antioch was strikingly diverse. Among the leaders were Barnabas, a Cypriot Jew from a priestly family. Simeon, called Niger — the Greek word for black — likely of sub-Saharan African origin. Lucius from Cyrene, modern-day Libya. Manaen, who had grown up alongside King Herod. And Saul, a highly educated Pharisee from Turkey who had been raised in Jerusalem.

These were not people who would naturally have ended up in the same room. Different backgrounds, different cultures, different social standing. And yet there they were, worshipping together, serving together, and making decisions together.

"The diversity of cultural backgrounds in this early church is striking," as the talk put it. "God doesn't want us to stay in an isolated village with the same views as our neighbour, rarely exposed to any different way of thinking. The church was supposed to be diverse from the beginning."

There is something worth sitting with in that observation. In an age of algorithms that feed us content matching our existing views, the church remains one of the few places where we are regularly alongside people who think differently, live differently, and see the world from a completely different angle. That is not a flaw. It is the design.

More Than the Sum of Its Parts

The Antioch church was not just diverse in background. It was diverse in gifting. Teachers, prophets, administrators, hospitality types — all contributing something different. And when Saul and Barnabas were called to go on their mission journey, it was not their own idea. It came from the community around them, as they worshipped and prayed together.

"They had prophets and wise companions helping them understand what their part in God's mission might be. They were surrounded by others all focused on worshipping God and listening for God's word and call. That's something you don't get when you're walking a solitary journey."

There is a practical side to this too. Saul and Barnabas needed resources to travel. They needed a boat, food, money, and possibly introductions at their destination. The church provided all of that. Being part of a community made the seemingly impossible become achievable.

The Power of People Who Show Up

When the church sent Saul and Barnabas off, they did not just wave goodbye and wish them luck. They laid hands on them — a physical act of conferring authority and ownership. They were saying: you represent us, we are with you, we are praying for you, and we will be here when you come back.

"The difference between being waved off by a group of family and friends or just quietly going unnoticed through departures," the speaker noted. It is a picture that resonates far beyond first-century mission trips. Anyone who has ever started something new — a business, a course, a recovery programme, a move to a new city — knows the difference between doing it alone and doing it with people behind you.

Following the Nudge

The talk shared a personal story that brought the text to life. A group from Frontline Church had been walking the route of the Crusaders, apologising for atrocities committed in Christ's name nine hundred years earlier. After completing their planned section in Turkey, they had three days spare before their flight home. Two people independently felt they should go to Cyprus — no plan, no contacts.

"You could say sent by the Holy Spirit. We literally got off the boat and started talking to whoever we met. But within two days we'd had meetings with the speaker of the parliament and the president."

That is not a typical Tuesday for most of us. But the pattern underneath it is worth noticing. When people position themselves in community, in worship, and in prayer, things happen that no amount of strategic planning could have engineered.

The Holy Spirit's guidance, as described in Acts, is usually not dramatic. "Generally the Holy Spirit's leading is a gentle nudge in my experience. An impression given in prayer, a set of circumstances arising when we're in a place of knowing God and seeking to listen to his counsel."

When Things Get Uncomfortable

Acts 13 does contain one dramatic moment. A sorcerer named Bar-Jesus (also called Elymas) tried to turn a Roman official away from the faith, and Paul — filled with the Holy Spirit — called him out and struck him temporarily blind.

It is an uncomfortable passage. But there are a few things worth noting. First, Paul did not do this out of personal frustration or revenge. The text is clear it came from the Holy Spirit. Second, the blindness was temporary — a warning, not a punishment. And third, there was purpose in it. The Roman proconsul, Sergius Paulus, was already drawn to the supernatural. God knew that a demonstration of power might be the key that would unlock faith in his heart.

"In the end," as the talk concluded, "the Holy Spirit will use whatever means to bring people to freedom and faith. Even temporary blindness. But most usually the Holy Spirit will be prompting and nudging our steps as we set ourselves on a path to know God better."

It Is Not About What You Get

One of the most challenging ideas from the discussion that followed was this: church works best when we stop approaching it as consumers. The purpose of gathering is not primarily about what we receive — though encouragement, teaching, and connection are all real gifts. The deeper purpose is about what we bring.

"One of the key purposes of church is to encourage one another," the host reflected. "When people struggle with church, if we're honest with ourselves, we're not going and encouraging other people. And we have become discouraged."

The word "encourage" literally means to put courage into someone. To help them feel brave enough to face their week, their parenting, their grief, their doubts. That shifts the question from "what did I get out of church today?" to "who did I put courage into today?"

Where Is Your Tribe?

Community is not always easy. It involves imperfect people trying to do life together, which means disappointment is inevitable. There will be seasons where church feels frustrating, where the people around us let us down, where we would rather withdraw.

But isolation, as the discussion highlighted, is where people get stuck. "It's the outside of your own perspective that you need. Other people to come around you and say, have you thought about it like this?"

That is true in faith. It is true in business. It is true in marriage and parenting and creative work. We are simply not wired to figure everything out on our own.

Something Worth Considering

The first challenge from this passage is simple but not small: where is your tribe? Where is your community? And are you investing in it — not just showing up to receive, but showing up to give courage to the people around you?

Because the story of the early church suggests that God has more for us in community than we would ever experience without it. The mission, the direction, the support, the perspective — it all flows from people who choose to be in the room together, even when the room is messy.

What would it look like this week to show up somewhere — not for what you might get, but for who you might encourage?