Have you ever sat in your car outside your house, just breathing, steeling yourself for whatever chaos awaits inside? Maybe you've scrolled through hundreds of photos of your kids and felt simultaneously overwhelmed by the challenge and grateful beyond words for the privilege. If you're a father, you'll know that feeling of being terrified and fulfilled at the same time.

At Crowd Church this week, Will Sopwith opened up about his own journey through fatherhood. From that first nerve-wracking drive home with a newborn to navigating the teenage years and beyond, he shared the brilliance and the mess of it all. But more than just swapping war stories, Will explored what the Bible actually says about fatherhood and discovered three roles that change everything.

The Real Issue

Our culture sends mixed messages about fathers. On one hand, we celebrate the "new man" who shares domestic chores and connects emotionally with his kids. On the other hand, we've got the useless male stereotype plastered across adverts where dad is basically another child to manage. Good for the fun stuff, hopeless at the practical stuff.

Will pointed out something striking from his years in a Facebook group for fathers called "This Dad Can". So many young men are struggling to find their role. They feel a bit secondary, sidelined by the more recognisable role of motherhood. Fatherhood has become optional, nice to have, but understandable if you don't.

Billy Graham once said that “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.”. Whilst fatherhood gets more recognition now than perhaps 20 years ago, there's still little emphasis on what makes fatherhood distinct from being just a co-parent.

The Bible takes a different view. Scripture doesn't just lump mothers and fathers together under generic parenting advice. Whilst there's obviously overlap and flexibility depending on personality and circumstance, God has something specific to say about the role of fathers. And it challenges our modern assumptions head-on.

God's Framework

Will unpacked three biblical roles that define fatherhood. These aren't about male authority or patriarchy. They're about service and responsibility. The roles are prophet, priest, and king.

Father as Priest

A priest represents the people to God. In biblical times, the priest literally stood in the gap between God and the people. When the people didn't know how to approach God, the priest filled that gap. He brought their needs before God, prayed for them when they couldn't, and appealed to God on their behalf.

For fathers, this means taking responsibility for your children before God. It's thanking God for them, praying for their growth, their healing, their protection, and their forgiveness. We see this in Mark chapter 9:14-29, where a father brings his epileptic son to Jesus because the son is powerless to bring about change himself.

This role continues through your child's whole life, but ideally, you want them to develop their own direct relationship with God. You're bridging the gap until they can walk that path themselves.

Father as Prophet

A prophet represents God to the people. Someone who explains and lives out God's truth to others. In our context, fathers serve as representatives of God to their children.

This isn't just teaching them about God or leading them in worship, though that's part of it. It's showing them a close, all-access, lived example of following Jesus. As anyone raising kids knows, what we model speaks louder than what we say. We're constantly on display, often at our most unguarded moments.

The alignment between our words about God and our actions is critical. We're meant to demonstrate that God is love, that God created us from love, and that God sustains us from love. We show them that following Jesus isn't about being perfect but about being loved and learning to love like him.

Father as King

A king speaks of authority. As fathers, God expects us to take authority for our children. This means taking responsibility for their well-being, but it also means being prepared to correct them, set boundaries, and bring discipline when they stray.

This is the role most eroded in our modern times. How do we discipline without clipping our children's wings? There's an underlying societal fear of fathers being over-dominant or abusive. It feels safer to ease off on discipline and boundaries and let them find out for themselves.

Will's challenge was clear. Your exercise of authority is expected. It's expected by God, by society through legal responsibilities, by your partner, and yes, by your children. Don't give it up. Giving it up is like recognising the ground you need to hold in a battle and just walking away, hoping someone else will fill your place.

Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers, bring your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, but do not provoke them to anger." The Bible challenges harsh, dismissive attitudes where children might be counted as little more than slaves. But what's the culture it might be challenging today? One of absence, lack of effort, and lack of authority.

Making It Real

During Conversation Street, the panel tackled some brutally honest questions about living this out in real life.

The exhausted provider. One question asked how to stay spiritually engaged when you work long hours, see your kids only briefly during the week, and come home exhausted. Dave Connolly shared a story about working 72 hours straight, coming home wanting nothing but bed, and his son wanting to play football in the hall. His wife Julie said something profound: "There will come a time when he won't ask you to do this."

Either they'll grow out of it or they'll think you're disinterested. There's a cost to being a dad, but it's one we should willingly pay. Those cards from your kids, those little moments, they make all the headache and trouble worthwhile.

Quality over bells and whistles. Will added that it doesn't have to be elaborate. He remembered his hour-long commute, parking outside his terrace house, needing to just stop and breathe and pray because he had no idea what chaos he was walking into. But kids, particularly when they're young, just want a bit of us being there. They don't want a holiday in Malibu. They want to see you.

It's worth revisiting our priorities. What are we really modelling to our kids? Some fathers have heard their kids say, "I'm not doing that job because you're always knackered." That's a wake-up call about what we're teaching them work should look like.

When kids make different choices. What happens when your kids grow up and don't walk with God? When they make decisions that aren't in line with your faith or beliefs? Dave's advice was powerful: believe in the seed you've sown into their lives. A farmer never sows expecting to get less than what he sowed.

You don't know what God is doing in them. He's a personal Saviour, a personal God. They may not be doing church the way you want, but don't give up on them. Keep praying. The goal is that they have a personal relationship with Jesus, not that they do church exactly like you do.

The messed-up dad. If you feel like you've messed up as a father, what do you do? Say sorry. Ask God for forgiveness. If it's appropriate, speak to your kids based on their age. Talk to your wife and pray together. Your kids are God's possession, stewarded to you. God just expects you to do your best and love your kids. They need to know you love them, even if you despise what they're doing at this moment.

And critically, as Will said, don't give up. Even if your kids are 50, it's not too late to keep being their dad. Even if there's been distance and non-communication for 20 years, you need to lead. Make that step and say you want to do this differently. It's never too late.

The Picture That Changes Everything

Will shared a picture God gave him during a time when he didn't feel particularly heard or seen. In the picture, he was walking as a three or four-year-old, holding God's hand. He was babbling away about the concerns of his life, just talking about whatever was in his head.

God wasn't going "mm-hmm, mm-hmm" whilst thinking about something else. God wasn't distracted, wasn't talking over his head to somebody else. God was listening. God was attentive to this completely inconsequential babble.

That was the first time Will really began to understand God's father heart. It's a real challenge for us to model presence, engagement, and attentiveness to our children. Along with protection and provision, just being there and listening matters immensely.

Your Next Step This Week

Here are some practical ways to step into these roles:

As Priest: Pray specifically for one area of struggle or growth for each of your children this week. Stand in the gap for them before God, even if they don't know you're doing it.

As Prophet: Have an honest conversation with your kids about your own faith journey. Share one way you've seen God at work in your life recently. Let them see your faith lived out, not just talked about.

As King: Identify one boundary or discipline issue you've been avoiding because it's easier to let it slide. Step back into that space with love and clear expectation. Don't give up ground.

On Presence: Put away your phone for one hour this week and be fully present with your kids. No distractions, no half-attention. Just be there, attentive like God is to you.

On Forgiveness: If you've messed up with your kids, apologise. Show them what it looks like when an adult gets things wrong and makes it right. That's modelling Christ.

The Privilege of Fatherhood

Fatherhood is a huge, terrifying, absorbing challenge. It's also simultaneously the richest experience many of us will ever have. Whatever our few short years on this planet achieve or don't, our role as fathers, with its highs and lows, its wins and losses, its brilliance and stupidity, is pure gold.

The role hasn't been handed to us by accident. God has equipped you to be a priest, a prophet, and a king to your children. Not in a domineering way, but in a way that serves them, points them to Jesus, and models what it looks like to follow God through the mess of real life.

Culture may tell you that fatherhood is optional, secondary, or just about sharing chores. But the Bible says something radically different. Your presence matters. Your leadership matters. Your modelling of faith matters. Your authority, exercised in love, matters.

A Question Worth Asking

What would change if you genuinely believed that God has called you specifically to be priest, prophet, and king to your children? What ground would you reclaim? What conversations would you have? What would you model differently?

Because here's the truth the panel left us with: being a dad is one of the best things you'll ever do. Your kids don't need you to be perfect. They need you to be present, engaged, and pointing them towards the Father who never stops listening, never gives up, and loves them beyond measure.

And if you're feeling like you've already messed it up beyond repair, remember Will's closing words: It's never too late. God's grace is incredible. Keep stepping up through all the mistakes and challenges. Your role as a father is a daily responsibility and a daily gift.