What Does The Bible Say About Friendship?

What does the Bible say about Friendship?

— Nic Harding

Let me, first of all, say that I have learned to value friendship more than anything else in the world. I'll start with a story.

Good Friends In Challenging Times

Back in 2008, my wife Jenny and I were going through a very difficult time. A personal time of dealing with some investments that went wrong and getting badly into debt, things weren't going well for us in my work, and things were really tricky in the church as well. I felt very low, very isolated, and really down. In fact, I got pretty much to the point of the end of myself. If it wasn't for a few very dear friends holding my arms up during that time, I would probably have wanted to quit. But there were friends who I would meet with, other church Pastor friends, who would get around and pray with me and say, "We're standing with you Nic, you're going to come through this". Other local friends would be there to cheer me on with some encouragement and some positive words.

Tough Love

There were a few around me who spoke the words of truth that I also needed to hear at that time. They were true friends.

One of the things the Bible does say about friendship in the book of Proverbs, is this,

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend. ”

-- Proverbs 27:6 (ESV)

In fact, actually, if your friends aren't able to speak honestly and truthfully to you when you need to hear it, then they probably aren't the best of friends. True friends can do that. Friends are people you do life with. They're people you laugh with and cry with, people who you share your everyday experiences with.

Invest In Your Friendships

Through that whole time of difficulty, I learned something really, really important. It's this. Friendship is probably one of the most important things in the world to get right and to invest in.

Being the age that I am, I'm privileged to have friends who I've been around for 40 or even 50 years. One dear couple is very close to me and Jenny. We've known them for 50 years this year, in fact, and I probably nearly killed the husband on two occasions (both incidents involving cars, which is another story for another day). But still, the dearest of friends. Friends we've been on holiday with, friends whose children have grown up with our children, friends who have shared in our experience of church life, who still after 50 years live on the same street as us. It's pretty remarkable, isn't it? And through those difficult years, I learned that actually, friendships are more important than work, they're more important than making money, they're more important than success or celebrity. Friendships are the stuff of life.

Let's face it, who's going to be there at your funeral? I had reason to think about this on many occasions. Who is going to be there at your funeral? You may get a few work colleagues, but it's mainly going to be people who are your dearest friends and family.

Family, of course, is a great place for friendship. I've been married for 46 years. I would have to say that you don't automatically get a good friendship after 46 years of marriage, but you're probably not going to be together for 46 years unless you have a deep-seated friendship underlying your marriage. Jenny is my best friend. You know, we've gone through thick and thin together. Friendship is a place where you learn to love and be loved. Isn't that true of every human being, that we want to both give love and receive love? Whether that's the friendship of a marriage, or you may be a single person who's just got good friends around you. That's also a place with those folks where you can give love, and receive love. Such an important part of our wiring. That's how God designed us to both give and receive love, and friendship is where that can happen in its truest and purest form.

Friends For Eternal Life

Here's an amazing thing. You can't take many things with you when you die. In fact, you can't take any physical stuff with you. People say there are no pockets in a shroud in grave clothes because you don't take anything with you. But here's an interesting fact. Here's the second Bible verse I want to mention. Here's one about investing in friendships. It's from Luke, the gospel of Luke, one of the writers who was around Jesus during his time on earth and witnessed the events firsthand. He heard what Jesus had to say as well as from his followers. And he wrote them down diligently later on. Luke said,

“Here’s the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others, and make friends. Then, when your possessions are gone, they will welcome you into an eternal home. ”

-- Luke 16:9 (New Living Translation)

Do you see what it's saying here? That your investments in friendships have an eternal reward, and when you get to Heaven, you will find your friends are there and they will welcome you in and say, "Hey, come on in, Nic. Come on in. It's great here. Heaven is everything it's cracked up to be and so much more. Come and let me show you around, come and meet the boss. Come and see our father's house." It's just going to be an amazing time of reconnecting with friends.

Investing in friendship now has an eternal benefit and reward. We invest in so many things, we invest in our careers, doing up our houses, going on exotic holidays, but what better thing to invest in than your friendships? The Bible's very clear that friendships are of eternal value.

What About Friendship With God?

Is that possible? Some people would think of God as distant and unknowable. Well, the amazing thing is this, Jesus said to His followers,

“No longer do I call you servants. I call you friends.”

-- John 5:15

That's amazing, isn't it? The Son of God, the Messiah, the Saviour of the world, the one who was not only born as a human being but rose from the dead miraculously, never to die again, was taken back to heaven to be with his father, where he'd come from. That same person who is God Himself, says, no longer do I call you servants, but I call you friends.

I'm speaking here to some of you who are Christian, some of you who know what it means to follow God, that your relationship needs to be translated from a servant, just kind of dutifully obeying what you think being a Christian is all about, to becoming a friend of God, not the sort of friend where you treat the relationship casually, not the sort of friendship where you just take it for granted. No, there's a sense of awesome respect for the Mighty God who He is, but the friendship that means intimacy, a friendship that means sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with Him, the friendship that means He will never, ever leave you. He said that right at the end to his followers. For I will be with you even to the end of the age. Of course, he does that by giving us His Spirit, the Spirit of Christ, who comes to live in us, that makes it known to us that we are children of God, but also that we are friends of God and that friendship is so precious, is so powerful. It's a friendship that is greater than any other friendship.

Here's another thing the Bible says in the book of Proverbs.

“...there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. ”

-- Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)

My understanding of that verse is he's talking about friendship with God Himself. God will never let us down, He will never bad mouth us, He will never desert us, He will never give us up and write us off as a failure. He will always believe in us, He will always want the best for us, He will always be there for us. Even when we walk away from Him, He never takes offence. He never walks away from us, He's always there just waiting for us to return. Maybe some of you need to find and know God as a friend. Maybe some of you who have felt distant from God, need to come back to him to say, God, I'm so sorry. I've ignored your friendship, I've taken you for granted. Come and fill me again with your Spirit so that I can have fellowship with the Holy Spirit.

The very last chapter of 2 Corinthians talks about the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, who is the Spirit of Christ, who comes to live in us when we know God for ourselves. That word, "fellowship", is a combination of two things. It's friendship, and it's partnership. It's being together, and it's doing stuff together. You see, God invites us into this amazing friendship where we not only have him as our closest friend, who is always with us, which means we'll never be on our own, but even when we feel in our most isolated and most vulnerable, he's right there with us. He's someone who we do stuff together with. Out of that friendship, comes a desire to do things with him. We get to discover, where's the father working? Where's the Spirit working? We get to join in on the basis of that friendship, and that partnership.

I wonder whether you have invited God into your life. I wonder whether you want to do that today. Maybe I could just pray a simple prayer so that God could become your friend. Maybe you can just repeat this prayer after me in your heart or out loud. It might be the beginning of a brand new relationship with God as Heavenly Father, with Jesus as His Son, as your partner in life, with His Spirit, with whom you walk with day by day, who you have friendship and partnership with in your life, who directs you and leads you into God's greatest purpose and plan. The thing that you were created for, the reason you were put on this earth. He will lead you into that which ultimately is the most rewarding and fulfilling life. Let me pray this prayer. If you echo it in your heart then just say it with me.

A Prayer

Heavenly Father, I thank you that you love me just as I am. I thank you that you want to be my friend. I'm sorry that I've ignored you and held you at arm's length for so long. I'm sorry that I've tried to live life by myself when all the time you've been wanting to be my friend. Today, I turn away from all of that independence, all of that pride that says I can do it by myself. I invite you to be the Lord of my life, to be the boss of my life, to be the one who directs and guides my life from here on. Forgive me, clean me out on the inside. Give me a clean conscience. Thank you for your forgiveness. I welcome your peace into my life from today. Amen!