Faith and Motherhood. Does it make a difference?

The Question Nobody Asks on Mother's Day

How do you feel when someone says "Happy Mother's Day"? For some, it's a lovely moment. For others, it brings a wave of complicated emotions — loss, longing, grief, or a mixture of all three. In this special Mother's Day edition, five women from the Crowd Church community share honest stories about how faith has shaped their experience of motherhood, and why it matters even when life is far from picture-perfect.

It's Not Always a Celebration

Sally opens with something most Mother's Day services skip over entirely. She acknowledges that the day hits differently depending on your story. Maybe you have a difficult relationship with your mum. Maybe she died young. Maybe you've longed to be a mum and it hasn't happened. Maybe you've experienced miscarriage or lost a child.

Sally knows this tension personally. Her mum died young, so she doesn't get to send a card or plan a treat. But she also has two daughters who want to celebrate with her. Two very different emotions, sitting side by side.

She shares a poem she wrote on the anniversary of her mum's death called The Lake of Ice: "Grief is like a lake of ice that I walk on day by day. Some days the ice is thick and when the memories come, they come with smiles. Other days the ice is thin and it's harder to keep walking. On the worst days, there is no ice and I plunge beneath the icy water."

On those worst days, Sally says, knowing she can go to God and that he understands brings real comfort. Not a magic fix — it doesn't make the pain disappear — but the knowledge that he's there and with her through it.

When Motherhood Breaks You Open

Claire's story is one of the most powerful in this collection. She went into motherhood thinking she had it figured out — she was a teacher, she knew how to work with children. How hard could it be?

Then her first son was born months early and spent a month in special care. Later, she and her husband experienced a stillbirth. "To this day I don't understand why that happens," she says. "I get incredibly sad and really angry when I think about it. But I've got no idea how I'd have got through that time without my faith."

She describes lying in bed at night, crying and praying for God to comfort her — because that was all she knew how to do. The promise that she would see her daughter again carried her through.

Now parenting a little girl with complex needs, Claire's patience is tested daily. Just before Christmas, when her daughter's school bubble burst and she had no idea how they'd cope, she prayed for patience — and neighbours turned up with meals and craft activities. As she puts it, quoting Psalm 9: "May everyone who knows your mercy keep putting their trust in you, so they can count on you for help, no matter what."

Letting Go of Control

Jenny describes herself as someone who loves being organised and in control. So when her youngest son didn't get his first-choice secondary school, her stomach did a somersault. This wasn't the plan.

Her response was to pray. Not a dramatic, earth-shattering prayer — just an honest one: "Lord, this isn't the school my son wanted. I know he's going to be anxious. I pray there is a reason."

What followed was a series of small answers. His closest friend was going to the same school. They ended up in the same form. On his first day, he came home buzzing. One term in, he'd grown in friendship and independence. Jenny and her husband chose not to appeal — they trusted the process — and it worked out.

It's a quiet story, but it gets at something real: faith doesn't always show up in dramatic moments. Sometimes it's the steady trust that things will work out even when they don't look the way you planned.

Teaching Forgiveness, Not Rules

Kirsten and her husband made a deliberate decision early on about how they wanted to raise their two boys. They didn't want their kids thinking the Bible was just a list of rules or that God was "some sort of Santa in the sky, watching to see if they were naughty or nice."

Instead, they focused on forgiveness — the heart of what Jesus actually taught. In practice, that meant apologising to their boys when they got it wrong. Saying things like, "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I'm sorry." When they argued in front of the kids, they made sure to resolve it and apologise in front of them too.

The result? Their boys started taking responsibility for their own mistakes without being forced. They'd come and say, "Mum, Dad, I've made this mistake. I'm sorry." And when they did, Kirsten and her husband tried to respond with love and grace — the same way God responds when we come to him honestly.

The Roller Coaster That Never Stops

Charlotte compares motherhood to a white-knuckle theme park ride — and after 28 years of parenting, she's qualified to say so. From new babies to toddlers to teenagers to adult children living on the other side of the world, the twists and turns don't stop.

Her key insight? Having faith is like having God in the roller coaster car with you. His presence doesn't stop the ride, but it changes how you experience it. She talks about sleepless nights that never truly end — they just change from feeding bottles to lying awake worrying about grown children. Being able to hand those worries to God in prayer, and receiving his peace in return, has been the thing that changed her life as a mum.

"God's promise is that he can be with them all the time, even when I can't," Charlotte says. "For a parent, that's a really big thing."

Your Next Steps

1. Be honest about how you feel. Mother's Day doesn't have to be all smiles. If it's complicated for you, that's okay — God can handle your honesty.

2. Try praying the small stuff. Jenny's story shows that faith isn't just for the big crises. School choices, daily patience, the next right step — all of it counts.

3. Model what you want to see. Kirsten's approach to forgiveness is practical and transferable. Saying sorry to your kids when you get it wrong teaches them more than any lecture.

4. Let go of the need to control. Whether it's school places, health scares, or grown children making their own choices, there's freedom in trusting that God is present even when you can't be.

You're Not Doing This Alone

Every story shared in this talk carries the same thread — motherhood is harder than anyone prepares you for, and faith doesn't make it easy, but it does mean you're not carrying it alone. Whether you're in the early days of sleepless nights, navigating complex needs, grieving a loss, or watching your children build lives of their own, there's a God who promises to be present through all of it.

What would it look like to hand over one thing you're carrying today — just one — and trust that God's got it?