What Does The Bible Say About Forgiveness?

— Jennie Taylor

Hi, I'm Jenny and I'm going to try and give you a quick overview of what the Bible has to say about forgiveness. And we're going to be looking at the first four books of the New Testament - Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Because in those books we read about Jesus's life here on Earth. We read about Jesus spending time with his friends, meeting with people in need, meeting those needs, performing miracles and healings, and getting into quite a few arguments with the religious leaders of the time. But we also read about Jesus's teachings on how we should live. And the life he teaches about is a life of forgiveness and love.

What does Jesus teach about forgiveness?

Well, in the book of Matthew, there is a great story about forgiveness that I think we could look at together. It starts in chapter 18, verse 21. And this is what Peter, Jesus's disciple says to him,

“Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

-- Matthew 18:21,22 (NLT)

That's a lot of times! If you've ever been deeply or repeatedly hurt by somebody, you could understand Peter's question, because I think most of us don't want to keep forgiving people over and over again. I'm sure Peter was hoping that Jesus's response would be different. But Jesus's teachings are in fact to keep on forgiving. Over and over, there is no limit to the amount of forgiveness we're to show to each other.

And I think when you hear something like that, it sounds like something that you just couldn't possibly do. Because when we've been hurt, understandably, we want the other person to pay for what they've done. And we might think about that as maybe justice or retribution of some kind. But either way, we either want the person who's hurt us to also be harmed in some way, or we want them to make amends. We want them to do something to repair the damage, to pay for what they've done. And once they've done that, then we might think about whether or not we're going to forgive them. Jesus turns that around completely. He puts the responsibility on us to offer forgiveness to those who've hurt us whether or not they're sorry, and whether or not they've done anything to repair that damage.

The Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor

And after Jesus has said this to Peter, he goes on to tell a story about a servant and a king. And in the story, the servant owes the king a huge debt, a huge sum of money that he's borrowed, that he cannot repay. And in fact, the debt is so high that even if the servant was to sell himself and his entire family into slavery, he would not be able to repay the debt in his lifetime. The King hearing this man's plight has mercy on him, and completely forgives the debt. He wipes it out so that it is no more. Later, that same day, the man comes across another servant that he works with who owes him a small amount of money. And that servant can't pay either. And he throws him into jail. When the King finds out, he is furious. He punishes the servant and throws him back into jail until he can pay the whole debt.

Now, I don't know about you, but I think I can easily see myself in that story. Because oftentimes, just like that servant, we want to be forgiven for the things we know we've done wrong, but we're not so keen on offering that same forgiveness to other people when they hurt us. But sometimes when people hurt us, it can seem too big to forgive. The pain we feel is too big. And what they've done seems way too serious for forgiveness. And yet, Jesus asks us to forgive.

And he's not asking us to do something which is completely unachievable, that you could never do. Instead, he's inviting us to partner with him in his work of reconciliation, reconciling relationships back to one another, and reconciling people back to God the Father. It's an opportunity for people to taste and experience the forgiveness that we receive at the cross of Jesus Christ when we believe that He died for us. And the reality is, it can be really hard to forgive sometimes. To forgive, we've got to be willing to let go of the debt that someone owes us. We have to trust that Jesus's death on that cross is enough to pay for what's owed. We have to forgive because we've been forgiven.

Jesus paid all our debts on the Cross

Acts chapter 10, and verse 43, says this,

“All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.”

-- Acts 10:43 (NIV)

Because when we believe in Jesus, we receive this amazing gift of forgiveness of sins. And we can think about sin as all those times when we choose to do things our way, instead of choosing to follow the teachings of Jesus. They're the times when we choose to put ourselves first, to do what's easy and convenient instead of doing what we know is right. When we choose to live for ourselves, instead of choosing to live for God.

But when we believe in Jesus, we are forgiven. We're freed from guilt, we're free from shame, and we no longer have to repay that debt. And all of that we receive by God's amazing grace. It isn't because we deserve forgiveness. It isn't because we've worked really hard to be good. It's not because we've paid the debt. It's always because He loves us. And pride is what stops us from forgiving others. And the Bible has something to say about that, too.

So in Matthew, chapter six, verses 14 and 15, it says this,

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

-- Matthew 6:14,15 (NIV)

The Bible takes forgiveness very, very seriously. You see, when we don't forgive someone, it is because we want to hold on to the hurt. We want to remind ourselves of how bad they are, and how good we are in comparison. We want them to pay for the debt that they owe us. And it's a debt that Jesus has already paid on the cross.

The Bible teaches us that if we're like the servant in that story, we can't expect God to forgive us either. That's a pretty serious way of looking at the world, isn't it? That we're forgiven when we forgive. But when we don't forgive when we choose not to, God can't forgive us either. And we do need to remember that, of course, sometimes we do choose to forgive someone, but it can take time. When we're really hurt, it can be a journey, and that is okay. And Jesus understands that. What he asks us to do, is to keep choosing to forgive, to keep choosing to love, knowing not only that he has paid the price, but that his love is enough to heal the hurt that we feel.

What is Unforgiveness & How does it affect Us?

Have you ever heard the saying, " Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die? " Unforgiveness only hurts you in the end. It steals your joy, it steals your passion and leaves you bitter and cynical and unable to trust. None of us want to live that way, weighed down by unforgiveness. But when we do choose to forgive, it leads to freedom and it leads to life.

As I said, for lots of us, forgiveness is going to be a journey. It's a journey where we recognize the hurt and we realize that it actually can't be repaired or restored by the person that injured us. That we have to choose instead to trust in Jesus. Trust that he has paid the price with his life. We release the people who hurt us from the debt that they owe because Jesus has paid the debt and the sacrifice on the cross is enough.

When we forgive other people, we receive life and freedom. And we forgive because we are merciful, not because the other person deserves it. Because just like us, they don't. And they can't fix it. They can't repay us. They can't restore it. But God can, he does. And he will. We forgive because we've been forgiven so, so much.

How can we practice Forgiveness?

One of the ways that we can practice experiencing forgiveness is through repentance. When we go to Jesus and tell him that we're sorry for what we've done. But repentance is so much more than just saying sorry. That word actually means to change the way you think. Repentance is when we pay attention to what's happening around us, and why we feel the way we do. We explore it together with good friends that we can rely on and whom we trust, and we can be vulnerable with. Then we take what we've learned, and we choose to believe the truth that's in the Bible, instead of the lies we have been believing before. That's what true repentance looks like.

And when we repent, God always forgives us. He always forgives us, His forgiveness is utterly never-ending. And when we experience that type of forgiveness, forgiveness that we don't deserve, forgiveness that we couldn't possibly earn, when we experience that for ourselves, we can then give that same forgiveness to others, because we get to live in life and freedom. And for most of us, I think some things are pretty easy to forgive quickly. If somebody's rushing past you and treads on your toe, you're gonna forgive them quickly. And you'll probably have completely forgotten about it in a couple of hours. But other things hurt much, much deeper than that. And sometimes when we experience something hurtful, the impact of it remains with us for a long time.

What does the Bible say about forgiving but not forgetting?

The Bible does tell us we have to forgive but it doesn't say that we have to forget. And that is because sometimes the pain of an incident or the impact of it could be far-reaching. And there are times when we can learn from those experiences. It might be that the reason why we don't forget. Because it helps us to make better decisions about our relationships or the way we approach things in the future. There are times when remembering will keep us from further harm. And even when we want to reconcile a relationship where we've been hurt, we can forgive but we might not forget. We might instead be able to say to that person I forgive you. But I'm choosing to put in place better, healthier boundaries in our relationship because I want it to flourish and I want it to thrive.

The Murder of Anthony Walker

Many of you will know about Anthony Walker and his family. Anthony was killed in a racially motivated attack in Huyton in July 2005. And his mother Gee Walker chose to forgive the perpetrators of that crime before they were ever arrested, before they were ever convicted, and before they ever served a single day in prison. And the legacy of her choice has been so far-reaching.

She and her family set up the Anthony Walker Foundation in 2006 to promote anti-racism and educate and empower young people and support victims of racism and hate crimes. In the last five years, the foundation has worked with nearly 40,000 young people through education and outreach programs, and it's supported nearly 10,000 people who've been victims of hate crimes.

In November of 2021, the Anthony Walker Foundation partnered with the Crown Prosecution Service, and John Moores University to set up a new way of supporting law students from minority backgrounds that want to go into working in the law, particularly that want to work with victims of crime. The Walker family has not forgotten what happened to Antony, but they did choose to forgive. In a time when I think most of us really, really would have found that hard to do, they chose to forgive. And in doing so, they have built something beautiful out of something that was horrifically tragic. And they've been an inspiration to many of us, that even when it's tough, we can still forgive. But it doesn't mean that we have to forget.

The good news is that God the Father does forget about the things that we've done wrong. In Hebrews 10, verse 17, it says this,

“Then he adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.””

-- Hebrews 10:17 (NIV)

When God forgives us, he chooses not to remember the things that we've done. He doesn't hold our mistakes over our heads. He doesn't treat us poorly because of the way that we have acted. He doesn't condemn us. He doesn't make us feel ashamed. He doesn't make us feel guilty. He treats us as if those mistakes, those choices never happened. He invites us to join his family, as his children, because He loves us. And we can be certain of God's love for us. Romans chapter five, verse five says,

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

-- Romans 5:8 (NIV)

Before we ever apologized for the things we've done, before we were even aware of them, Christ died for us. God loved us enough to forgive us before we even needed his forgiveness and before we were ever sorry. And He asks each of us to choose to forgive too.

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