Not My Will, But Yours

this week's crowd church service we are a digital Church on a quest to discover how Jesus helps us live a more meaningful life we are a community a space to explore the Christian faith and a place where you can contribute and grow our service will last about an hour and in a few seconds we will start with a time of worship after which you will meet our hosts for our service who will introduce today's talk after the talk we head into conversation Street where we look at your stories and questions that you've posted in the comments throughout the live stream I want to invite you to connect with us here at crowd church and there are a few ways that you can do just that firstly you can engage with crowd from any device during our live stream and if you're up for it why not invite a few friends over and experience the service together you see church is all about connecting with God and connecting with others and one of the easiest ways for you to do that is to also Join one of our midweek groups where we meet online together to catch up and discover more about the amazingness of Christ you can also subscribe to our podcast called what's the story where we Deep dive into stories of faith and courage from everyday people more information about all of these things that I've mentioned can be found on our website at www.cc.edu to take are well why not head over to our website crowd. churchnext for more details and now the moment you you've been waiting for is here our online church service starts right now well good evening and welcome to crowd online Church my name is Matt Edmonson and beside me is the beautiful The Talented The alland Good Egg which is Ellie light Ellie how we doing yeah really well thank you slightly nervous about this microphone placement already already was slightly nervous about microphone we've just been chatting this is if you're new to crowd Church warm welcome to you by the way uh Ellie is uh you've been a speaker before on crowd but you've never actually hosted before yes correct correct are you nervous little bit a little bit yes so welcome Ellie to crowd church thank you for hosting pleasure to be here I'm excited so Ellie's first time hosting say hi to Ellie in the comments do come and join us in the comments uh evening Andy evening Matt how are we all doing tonight uh I can see the comments coming and tell me what you think to my new Christmas jumper by the way it's it's wonderful do I tell you or do they tell you well both they're going to comment about it even Nicola yeah they're going to they're going to comment about it as well but the this is such a cool my Star Wars Christmas jumper I'm so excited with this I've only got one Christmas jumper you know really yeah it's just got a Snowman on it you don't do the Christmas jumper thing no it has got a carrot that comes out of it though oh has his nose okay yeah yeah no fair play so just the one just the one every year uh we have a tradition in our house I don't know about you guys in fact if you're in the comments tell us what your Christmas traditions are i' be really curious to know but we have this tradition whereby every Saturday the first Saturday of every December which was yesterday sure uh if people are wondering um yesterday we walked down as a family to the shop that does the Christmas trees oh right so we walk from our house through the mystery which is a park here in Liverpool um and we go choose the tree uh we're we all make sure that we're happy with the tree we all get to see the tree out um and then we walk back to the house and then an hour or two later they deliver the tree and we decorate the tree and we do the house even having to carry it oh that's yeah yeah I'm too lazy for that carrying that through the park no um and so yeah we we did our Christmas tree yesterday uh so the trees are up the deckies are up nice and I'm wearing Christmas jumpers because you know we're in the run up to Christmas a do you know what my Christmas I do what is yours so in our family um my dad's not really a fan of things being in the house like a just like excessive things that aren't needed so we go out on Christmas Eve and we buy a really reduced Christmas tree for about three quids because who buys a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve then we decorate it that's it it's up for about three four days really yeah oh wow depressing yeah yeah sorry Ellie dad that's just wrong on so many levels oh de that's WR on so many levels and his decorations went up this uh this weekend as well yeah I think a lot of people go up it's the time to do it really isn't it we did this thing where actually yesterday um because normally this is a family tradition for us going and getting the tree right and we uh because our family in theory has grown over the years as we have adopted more and more people and had more and more people come live with us that become part of the family they've subsequently left got married and so there was like 16 of us going to this pick the Christmas tree yesterday there was a lot of people um including sadf who's been on the live stream she just she just sent me a text saying oh I'm coming as well I want to get a Christmas tree so sat up and the family came down so like 16 17 of us just wandered down which was amazing the guy at the the Christmas Tree Shop did was overwhelmed by the amount of the edmo family coming down or team 53 as we call ourselves and um we all then went back to the house uh and had some food which I'd spent like four or five hours cooking we did you know some really nice food uh and so yeah we by the end of last night I was absolutely knackered so we first I don't do it in November don't do Christmas decorations in November um unlike some people like Jenny Oliver who works here um she does Christmas decorations in November I'm like there's just no way uh so Will's put here in the comments your dad I'm assuming he's talking to you early your dad sounds like mine we went out uh with a SORA and found some Scraggy twig on Christmas Eve yeah brilliant brilliant yeah thankfully we do actually get a real proper tree it's so cheap then as well that's the thing that's amazing about it you're getting like a really good one for like three quids but if you think about it if it's only for three days it's a pound a day yeah great but that's how much it cost for a normal Christmas tree or December well I'm not paying for it but you you have we're going to get into the talk talk in a minute ladies and gentlemen we will we will move on Don't Panic um but you you have got a new house I have well I say I've been there about you've been there yeah yeah and have you got the tree up no I don't I'm actually I've put some fairy lights around my banister and that's it that's as far as you got okay now you're in control of your own destiny here in your own house are you going to follow your dad's I get a true on Christmas Eve thing well I'm going to go home for Christmas so no wow okay fair enough Matt crw says he doesn't do Christmas decorations at all why does that not surprise me Matt uh Nicola the force is strong with this one yes talking about my jum oh very good very good so yeah Christmas so Merry Christmas to you warm welcome to you if you just joined us like I said my name is Matt this is Ellie and we are crowd online Church talking about Christmas uh because you know Christmas is a big thing for the church sure is we do like Christmas we do have a Christmas service this year so stay tuned we'll give you more information about that later uh but for now we are going to carry on with our conversation through the book of Acts we have the beautiful Anna cattle I read that off a piece of paper obviously it's like it's just like we did in rehearsals ladies and gentlemen uh we've got annah Kettle talking to us about the book of Acts this week it's the correct talk uh Matt I saw you put that in the um the comments earlier we are going to get do the correct talk today uh God bless the guys last week that was a little bit of a mess up uh I say mess up it was just it was a beautiful accident is what it was uh Dan and John uh they had a great time so um I was in Paris so I was just grateful they were doing it if I'm honest with you had a weekend away celebrating 25 years I that's nice 25th anniversary me and Sharon which was lovely so we had a great time in Paris great stuff so all that said I am going to push this button on the pad we're going to have Anna on the talk then Ellie and I will be back after this for conversation Street get busy right your comments questions thoughts stories and all that sort of stuff in the comments we'll be back soon here's hi there so today I'm talking about Paul's journey to Jerusalem and you can read all about this story in Acts chapter 21 so we're continuing our series looking at the book of Acts today and passage I'm uh looking at and have been asked speak on is acts 21 verse one 3 to 36 now that's quite a long passage so I'm not going to read it all here right now instead I'm going to just summarize the narrative what happens in that passage to give us a little bit of context for this talk and then suggest that maybe you can go away and look out it in your own time and read it in more detail so basically just to take us to the beginning of the chapter then so Paul is planning to go to Jerusalem share the good news news to encourage the Believers there and also to share the good news with those that all believers yet and the first part the chapter just follows his journey as he travels through the Greek oils and through course and raid then he goes down past Cyprus on a boat and then onto the mainland in the Middle East so he um first go through Syria and then down into Le below it and then down on into Israel to Jerusalem which is his ultimate destination however this journey that he's taking is not straightforward and Al longer he receives a number of warnings not to go to Jerusalem because he's going to be arrested there and that it's going to be dangerous for we to go now the first time this happens along the journey In this passage is when he lands in t which is in Lebanon and the Christians there warn him not to go to Jerusalem they say that the Holy Spirit Spirit have told them that it's going to be dangerous and so they're warning him not to go and yet as much as he hears their pleas and their their their concerns about him he says no I'm going to go to Jerusalem this is what God's told me to do I'm going to go and then later on is this journey again as he's traveling down into Israel and towards Jerusalem he's getting placed to his destination he's traveling through an area called C caesaria which is to nor Israel an A's traveling through day receives a warning from a prophet called aabus now aabus again has very clearly heard a word from God he's he's had a prophecy and he he goes to tell Paul um when he's staying with uh Philip the Evangelist he says that the Jewish leers in Jerusalem are planning to arrest him and hand of Gentiles when he arrives there and then so again the Christians are disciples there the follow Jesus there in that area hear this and they plead or they not to go they're understandably concerned for his safety and worried that he's going to be arrested or that horn won't come to him that he could even be chilled if he's arrested when he when he gets to Jerusalem so they're saying you know don't go and yet Paul's answer is really interesting at this point he says this he says why are you weaking and breaking my I am ready not only to be bound also to die in Jerusalem from Lord Jesus wow that is quite a um severe answer isn't it it's quite intentional like there's nothing that is going to leave him or dissuade him from going to Jerusalem he's like very single-minded about going he SCS told him you know and finally the Christians there realize and so they give up they realize they can't stop in his way that he's going to go that he believe God's told him to go and that he has to be obedient to that and so in the end they they resolve saying okay the Lord's will be done then and so of course Paul continues in his journey and he does go to Jerusalem and of course when he does sure enough false accusations are thr at him by thecal religious lead as they in Jerusalem and so he is arrested and he is in prisoned for his faith now that's the kind of context of the story I don't know about you but I find this slightly confusing chapter I mean kind of weird isn't it that but Paul feels that God has told him to go and preach the gospel in Jerusalem and so he's got this clear word from God and yet and long his journey the Holy Spirit sends loads of different warnings for the danger ahead in his journey and then he still goes straight into that danger anyway it's sort of Y me feeling well what's the point of all that what is this passage trying to tell us you know on the one hand just Paul being disobedient to God by ignoring all of these warnings and going into you know the danger is he being silly I'm not sure I would have gone if IID received so many warnings about being arrested and possibly a threat on my life you know is he being disobedient to God is he ignoring the warnings of the Holy Spirit but there equally is God kind of contradicting himself because he's already told Paul to go and Paul feels so confident that he should be going so then why is the holy spirit seeming to contradict what God has already said to him it doesn't make any sense to me you know Paul feels very strongly that God's told him to go there and he's acting on that conviction but now you've getting all these warnings danger ahead well I guess there's three simple points that I want to pull out this passage which might just help us with some of our understanding all it the first one is this is that God always prepares us for what he asks of us I'll say that again God always prepares us for what he asks of us so just going back to that question about why God sent those warnings to Paul and he's still when personally I think that these warnings from the Holy Spirit were intended to prepare Paul but not necessarily to stop him from going and I think there's a difference isn't there they're about preparing his heart about getting him what lies ahead for the challenges that lie ahead in the ra ahead of them on his journey that's not the being warned about what lies ahead doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong for him to go or that he shouldn't go you know that the other Christians around him were saying don't go don't go but that's their own human Pro projections and their own anxieties that them talking about their own fears that's not necessarily what God's saying and so These Warnings aren't necessarily a warning not to go but just a warning about what lies ahead and they helped him to be more prepared and ready for what God was calling him into and yet I wonder how often we make the similar mistake where when hardship comes we're too quick to give her up you know I wonder sometimes when things get harded in our own journeys of Faith or when we meet resistance or hit difficulties along the way that we suddenly start to question whether was that really God that PR us that was it really what God wants of us is it still really what God wants of us are we still on the right PA have we heard God right and we're so quick to question and to doubt what God's asked of us when difficulty comes but sometimes those difficulties don't mean that we're on the wrong path or that we're not hearing God right it just means that that path is hard you know difficulties don't mean that you're on the wrong path often they mean they you're on the right path and that is just a difficult Journey that you're undertaking and that brings me on to my second point which is that Paul was so willing to take risks and enure hardship for his faith he was so willing to go through difficulty you know he was warned of incredible hardship ahead that he'd be arrested and a prison and that he could potentially even die or be putting his life at R and yet he didn't seem to hesitate in any way even though others around him were really anxious and telling him not go he didn't hesitate because he knew what God had told him and he didn't doubt it and he didn't waver on it now I'm not suggesting that those similar kinds of troubles are probably going to face many of us in our own walks and B at least not here in the UK I know that some Christians elsewhere in the world right now can sometimes face persecution arrest imprisonment maybe the death of their faith that's common certainly not here in the UK um and so yeah but at the same time it makes me think well there are other risks that we're asked to take for our face sometimes aren't they even very small ones and I wonder how willing we are are we willing like Paul to not hesitate or do we actually hesitate when those small difficulties come you know do we hesitate when we're worried about feeling a bit embarrassed about talking about our faith or people that don't share it or understand it or we potentially worried about sounding a bit weird or about having our attentions misunderstood or misinterpreted when we share about our experiences with God you know there's so many different levels of risk and um different types of hardship that we can be asked to enjoy for our faith I don't think many of us have had to endure to the point of arrest or imprisonment or death and the third part that I wanted to just pull out of this passage was that enjoying hardic is actually part of what it means to ply Christ you know I know this isn't a particularly popular message particularly in all Western churches where we're quite used to being quite comfortable in our faith but actually when you read about the early church here in the book of Acts you just can't get away from the truth that following Jesus isn't always easy or comfortable you need a word Christian literally means follower of Christ Christ I am Christ follower and yet I wonder how many of us who call ourselves Christians who say that we believe leave in and follow Jesus or actually that willing to follow him into difficult things into hardships into discomfort into putting others before ourselves um into making ourselves uncomfortable for our faith and you know account myself in this challenge as well I find this stuff hard but you know I actually see some real parallels in this story about Paul troubling towards Jerusalem and knowing that there's hardship ahead of his journey and also the story of Jesus before his arrest and crucifixion in the gospels you know before Jesus was arrested in the garden the Gethsemane and ultimately based a horrific death in the CR there's at least three times in the L the repellant of his life where he predicts his own death and to his disciples and his followers and there's possibly other more subtle references that he knew what was coming to but there's certainly at least three occasions in the gospel accounts where Jesus makes it clear that he knows what's coming he knows what's ahead in his own Journey as well and that he knows that the cross is coming and that he'll be arrested so yeah it's challenging if is it and just like Paul Jesus didn't shy away from that difficult R to head you know when he faced imminent death these were some of final words that he spoke he said for then if you are willing take this cup away from me and yet not my will but your will be done you can read that passage in Luke 22 uh verse 42 you know and that it strikes me that that's not that different to Paul's response here in in the book of Acts um is it it you know the the conclusion here is the Lord's well be done that was the conclusion that the disciples came to when he refused to change course or or to stop in his journey to not carry his journey on into difficult things and it leaves me sort of feeling that challenge of I wonder how many of us are willing to say that say the same kind of thing when things get hard in or injuries of fa with challenges coming our real Liv when God asks us to do something and then to go and gets tough how many of us can say a similar thing not my will Lord but yours be done you know as I said not many of us are going to be asked to um lay down our lives for our faith at least not in this country or threaten with arrest and imprisonment but you know there are other things that we may have to surrender to God you know how many of our Comforts were all right you know are we willing to part with our cash when Jesus asks us to give some away toly needs something or to part with our material things or to give up our time where Jesus ask us to serve someone he needs something you know are we willing to give up our right to a certain kind of lifestyle or quality of life are we willing to H relationships or family or career or other things second to what Jesus is calling us today you know it's there's one example that I've got from my life in the last couple of years where I had an opportunity to take a promotion at work and this promotion would have meant quite a significant amount more money and I would be paid quite a bit more and a lot of colleagues were saying you should go for it you'll totally get it if you go for this you know you can do this job you know it's almost so as if you go for this role at the same time it's quite a lot more responsibility and time commitment too and you know I prayed about it and forc about it for a number of days and I just didn't really feel any peace in myself about going for this role and it was because I felt like the role was going to take me away from some of the other things that God was calling me to do and was their time you know it was going to take me away from being and spending enough time with my family but also say from different ways that I was serving him even doing things like this like doing talks for Crow church or podcasting or writing other things I I want ways that I feel like God's asked me to serve them and so I didn't go for the role and you know it that might not be the area of challenge for everyone right now it may not be that God's asking you to put your career second to they following him I wonder if there are any other areas of real life where Jesus is asking you to take a risk or maybe to out the C by choosing obedience to him over your own Comfort or E usual pression say you know there's loads of different areas where this can apply and and it might be a very different challenge that is coming up in your life but as I said just because something that seems difficult doesn't mean it's the right or wrong thing to do you know something God has called you to do something she'll give you the tools to go through it and um you know I can say that although it may not be an easy decision always to be obedient to God in all the years that I've been a Christian I've never once regreted doing what God has asked me to do even when it feels challenging or hard at the time to make that decision so I just want to leave us with that thought today really perhaps just ask you to take a moment to reflect on that to reflect on the cost of following Jesus in your life right now and as you do that I just also want to finish with a short prayer um I'm going to pray for us all if that's okay so Lord we're so sorry that we can be slow to do what you're asking of us sometimes or reluctant you know sometimes we don't want to be inconvenienced or to have our comfortable eyes disrupted or to really have to count the cost and in these times I just AB that you'd help us to remember how much you have given up for us and how you paid the ultimate cost cuz you're an innocent man he died on the cross of sacri rep voice for us you went in our you you did all that in our place and so we pray that in response to that you would help us to say in every situation that we come across just as Jesus did and as so many other Christians have done too Lord I'm finding it hard to say yes to what you're asking of me right now today yet not my will but your will be done in Jesus name amen well amen uh Amen to that great talk by Anna I love that we're going to get into that we're going to get into uh this whole thing that an was I geez what a lot to get into there um so we're gon to get into all that make sure you write your questions comments thoughts uh in the comments below um and we will get to those as well so what a great talk though loved it loved it loved it thank you y yeah what did you like about well say like is maybe the wrong word uh what what was the key point do you think that stood out to you in that talk um not sure necessarily a key point but I think what was really I found really powerful about it was just the honesty of it I think um talking about the hard things in faith is really important I'm not necessarily sure we do it enough um I think it's very easy to walk into Christianity and think oh great this is this is brilliant everyone's says how wonderful it is and how everything's going to be better afterwards um after I've met Jesus and and all of this but actually um you know we still we still face really difficult things and um you know the answer is that he's with us in them not not that they disappear or yeah um and particularly on this that it's it's so challenging that like God's then asking to actually go into a physically dangerous yeah situation oh I'd find that hard God's not asked you to do that reason I take it no not not recently no it's like yeah no not at all um it's interesting I yeah it's it's funny isn't it this this constant convers I mean we've been working our way through the book of Acts right and one of the things that has come up consistently in the book of Acts and we've we've bought it up a number of times on the on the live stream is this idea that you cannot read the book of Acts and go yeah Christianity is sunshine rainbow and unicorns right it just isn't but what you can do um is say that Christianity is a God who is with you and actually the path that you go is not always easy um but he is always with you on it right and I think this is this is brought out again in this this um this portion of scripture what's interesting to me about what you said and about what we read in the book of Acts is the reason for the hardship m M mhm if that makes sense so sometimes we go through hardships or difficulties because let's be frank we were stupid yeah do you know what I mean we we we made some rather rather strange decisions upon the along the way um a classic one for me is uh I I don't you can see you know part of my right index finger is missing um and so that was not a pleasant time uh when I when I had my accident I I'd cut through three of my fingers um my youngest son my middle child Zach was like weeks old I mean weeks old um maybe days old I mean he was super young um and I I made a stupid stupid mistake I took the safety guard off a saw oh never do that well I can where were you 20 years ago but it was it was was it was something that I had to go through and I cannot in all of those circumstances go it was it was something that God wanted for my life right um it was a mistake that I made it was a stupid decision that I made that cost me yeah and that resulted in hardship does that make sense yeah in more ways than one in a lot of ways it's affected us and in a lot of ways that you know we've sort of um we've learned to live with it but I'm always reminded that actually there were enough warning from God and never to take the safety guard off the SW you don't even need God to warn you to do that yeah that's common sense yeah but it turns out I I didn't have any yeah who knew and so Matt Cruz put in the comments here Ellie this is Matt's I'm an idiot story I'm getting that yeah yeah yeah Nicholas put Safety First yeah thanks guys appre just you know give me the the heads up now but it was it's fascinating isn't it so we I think we go through difficult things in life because of decisions that we make MH like uh I can tell you I mean we'd go all night about the stupid decisions that Matt's made over his life um money finances you know things with work that's cost us a lot of money making really silly decisions and you can't like man alive um but you you you know even when it's my fault God's still with me in it if that makes sense yes yeah yeah yeah yeah which is a beautiful thing so I think some times in fact most of the time I have faced things and the the hardships that I've come across the reason be for them is because I was a bit of a plonker MH that said in this story and in certain cases of my life I dare say certain occasions in your life the reason for the hardship was because God said go yeah do know what I mean yeah yeah yeah and God's told Paul to go into a particularly difficult situation um and I love what Anna said that the reason it feel it seems like God is telling these things to Paul is not to dissuade him but to prepare him yes do you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah uh now if it was me I think Anna man mentioned this in her talk if it was me I would hear those warnings and i' be like right that's it I'm out this is God this is God telling me not to go I would have gone to the beach maybe or something I don't know um but it's interesting that Paul didn't right and so there are there are sometimes there are some occasions where God deliberately leads you into places that create hardship and that is not an easy theology yeah no I think um what I find particularly helpful about this and and sort of wearing up I quite often get um uh a bit overwhelmed at the idea of you know is God telling me to do this or this and getting quite caught up in like the details of um am I hearing from God am I not hearing from God and that's usually when to to like okay chill out because God doesn't come into your life to create confusion and what I love about this is is for Paul he's so he's so sure that all of his mates that he's meeting along the way telling him you're going to get yeah hurt and you might get arrested and you might die he is still so sure that he knows that he's going anyway yeah and I find that particularly encouraging with the whole um how do I know when God's speaking to me and when he's not because actually if he needs me to know I'll know because if PA can know and go to it and and know that he's walking into that and be so sure that that's what he needs to do yeah because God has told him in such a way that he is very sure of that then I'm sure he can tell me quite clearly about whether I need to like do this or do that you I mean yeah absolutely yeah yeah so that's what matters but here in all situations remember that God can give you the guidance at all times which I think is quite true it's interesting I don't know if we've come across that criman worry abouts in the book of Acts it is cuz it's all blurred into in all the prep there's this really interesting part in the book of Acts where Paul goes on one of his missionary Journeys right and he start Paul is to give you some sort of insight into Paul's character Paul is I think he's an action man he's a doing guy yeah he's right what was the last he's he's the kind of guy that would respond to the question what was the last thing God said to me let's keep doing that until I feel like God's told me to do something else right um and so he's he's very much an action guy he's he's the kind of guy that if you said to him you know if if he was alive today you put him in a car on one side of Liverpool City Center and you said um right Paul you you need to get across the side he's just going to get in a car and go yeah yeah I mean he's going to sort of feel his way rather than just wait for all the traffic lights to turn green and all the Ducks lined up and off he goes yeah and neither one is right or wrong yeah right but this is part this is what I see in Paul's personality is he's kind of an action guy he's kind of a doing guy and so he heads off on one of his mission trips right and the way the scripture I love the old uh the Old King James version the way the way it talks about this said the Holy Spirit constrained him oh he was constrained yeah and this is Paul this is the Apostle Paul right who wrote 2third of the New Testament he's heading in Direction it's when he goes that he feels God constraining him yeah in other words I don't know if Paul knew or didn't know whether this was the right thing to do but he's an action guy like I'm just going to keep going until I'm until I'm told otherwise and I I kind of get that impression in this story that we read today that this is Paul he's like well okay something to get changed so what God's told me to go so I'm going yeah mad that he doesn't think that his mates being like you're gonna die it's God saying oh stop it's funny isn't it it is funny how we interpret those things yeah yeah defitely really cuz and and this is what again you see that in the story so the Christians in the story The the church in Jerusalem were like man you need to not go yeah yes yeah yeah yeah everyone was going what are you doing oh mad I find that so challenging I find that really challenging but again you can just sort of being led by God there's this you know there is this very correct teaching in the church which says you know in the math of 2 or three Witnesses let a thing be established you know uh there is safety in a multitude of counselors you know this all this stuff in scripture which talks about I'm trying to scratch my head around the microphone it's not um sort of this this whole thing in scripture about listening to one another you know bearing one another's burdens God speaks to you through other people and here God is speaking but Paul had the ability to discern what was preparation versus instruction um and that I find very challenging yeah yeah me too me too I also love what what was it that he said said I love how emotional Paul is like all the time um but um I just think it's really a nice and encouraging thing it's not like oh an emotional man wow um it's when he says why are you weeping and breaking my heart I just think that's so like ah I I think that's really beautiful because I can just imagine him being like guys I just really need encouragement stop like stop telling me I'm going to die um and yeah breaking my heart like this you know it's it it exposes that he is he's nervous about this that he's scared about it um and that he is you know there's an element of him being you know heartbroken at the idea that that's what he's walking into and yet he's still sure that God's telling him to do it and he's going to do it yeah what a cool guy I love him I really do cool guy there there quote of the week Paul what a cool guy um no I totally agree and again yeah it's fascinating isn't it that I guess there's two things here there's what the holy spirit is saying and then there's why he is saying saying it right so the church heard what the Holy Spirit was saying but they didn't necessarily understand why and I think when Paul was talking to them there's like you're breaking my heart not because what you're telling me is factually incorrect but you've misunderstood the why yeah you know what I mean and I think here is the again the the challenge for us as Christians is understanding what God is saying and why God is saying that particular thing yeah you know what and why two very important things aren't they you know and it's a it's a really really a tricky thing as a Christian sometimes to to understand that because I I I know sometimes once I've heard the what I just assume the way yeah yeah you know what I mean this is the first time I'm thinking about it to be honest a few minutes uh Nicholas put here I often look if I add that to the broadcast I've just reformatted this computer so I don't know if this is going to work or if it's all set up oh look works fine uh I often look back on some of the tough times I've had and they have been very tough and hard would I change the choices I made no it's made me who I I am and also I'm able to help others going yeah actually that's true that's very true would I change some of the choices that I've made that comes into this interesting topic of conversation called regret yes oh that's fun that's fun isn't it regret is regret good thing a Bad Thing uh what do you regret what would you change if you could go back in time and change it um is thinking about what you could change in going back in time and if you could go back in time a futile exercise because you can't do it and you're just you're living in the past and Paul another thing that Paul said is I forget what's past I just press on towards the goal again so cool I just I think he's brilliant I really love Paul I know that's like the least original thing to say yeah thanks good um okay interesting is it futile to look back and reflect and regret I don't know if it's futile but we do it don't we yeah sometimes too much yeah yeah just part of Being Human I think really yeah I think maybe some people do it too much and sometimes it's easy to kind of fall into it and as a bit of a pattern but also don't beat yourself up for doing it because it happens because sad things happen and you like to think oh I wish I'd not done that I wish that had worked out like that and I wish I'd bought my Christmas tree earlier yeah I'm going to call my D just just regretting all of our Christmases actually dad Christmas sorry if You' just joined in that joke won't make any kind of sense at all little little call back there yeah you have to go back and watch from the beginning that make sense um interesting interesting interesting so Anna um Anna said at the end she was talking about um Paul enduring hardship right and how enduring hardship is actually part and parcel of what it means to follow and this I think Anna I can't remember the exact phrase she used but she talked about how in the western church this has become an uncomfortable truth yeah um for our Christian faith um that's a really interesting thing isn't it what would the Apostle Paul with his theology on all of this be welcoming most western churches do you think would he be welcoming them now would he be welcome into like if Paul turned up to you know crowd or front line or whatever yeah um I wonder how how we would respond to him because his call is often to sort of to vacate for one of better expression our comfort zone yeah yeah I mean yeah which is what he's doing here yeah yeah I think um we're all quite quick to be like oh I think you know God wants me to be comfortable God wants me to be happy God wants me to be okay and like yeah I'm sure I'm sure there's elements of that you know it's not that he wants us to be um he doesn't want us to be you know destroyed or you have all these things happen to us but he also wants wants us to do what he asks of us um and it's the fear of those of like losing the Comfort isn't it that that stops US stops us doing it um yeah I think we probably are quite maybe too comfortable I don't know it's so hard isn't it because then you get into like all the different well I get into all the different like little anxious thoughts about it like what's what's you know should I make myself uncomfortable on purpose all those yeah yeah I had go Wiggly you can't go around in circles um Sue's put here in the comments s sorry has put in the comments I regret being in a cult for 25 years and still trying to work out why left eight years ago many many regrets talking about regrets W thanks for Shar that says I that's um and is put here you can't change the past but it's what you do in the present that can affect the future yeah yeah it's interesting isn't it when you think about things like that because um there's a really interesting book that came out recently by Dan pink who I I don't know where he's it's not a Christian book I I don't know where he is in terms of Faith um where he talks about the power of regret okay all right um and how you can use regret to in a in a way that is powerful um there's been some really interesting research that has come out recently on um on how to journ about past trauma oh right okay um or past stressful situation so when we've been in situations The Way We There is a a protocol to quote Andrew huberman um about how to journal about that in a way that helps us deal with it in better ways um and one of the things that struck me about this podcast and this is you know he's a neuroscientist um human in effect he what he said was and I'm I'm paraphrasing about an hour and a half's worth of information in effect what he said was um telling the truth to yourself is incredibly powerful yeah great good right great and it as I was listening to him he was like the only thing that I the thing that was going around in the back of my head all the time is that scripture where Jesus talks about how you will know the truth and the truth will make you free yeah yeah but there's this knowledge of the truth that has to come first you have to know the truth for the truth to set you free and sometimes with regret what I what I find find is I can glamorize it or I can overplay it and it's all a bit fzy or I'd wish I'd not done that whereas when we label it when we put names on it when we understand the truth of it then we can be free of it right and so um the thing about regrets I it seems the power is in being totally upfront and honest about them yeah as opposed to just going I regret that and it's just this thing in the back of my head that I don't want to think about because it makes me feel uncomfortable yeah does that make sense makes loads of sense that's great top tip no I think that's really good yeah because yeah if you're not really looking at it if you're not kind of remembering it properly if you're not thinking about it proper so I guess that's the whole thing of like dwelling on it or not if you're dwelling on it in in with the right lens I guess then you you can actually process and be like oh yeah know that was that was really hard and that's fine that that was really hard that's fine like I wish I hadn't made that decision but also recognizing that you couldn't have made any other decision different you know yeah really interesting fascinating stuff so thanks us for sharing uh she she put here I have no bitterness but often feel so sad about all the things that I've missed with my family many died in that time yeah my heart breaks for you there's no easy answer to things like that um other than to thank God that he's with us right now yeah yeah um and actually I don't know my theology on this is inter I think all things ultimately are redeemable right with God everything is redeemable we can there's nothing that is beyond his Redemption I'm utterly convinced of it but sometimes we have to deal with and feel the consequences of decisions right so you read the book of Job interestingly spelled job uh you read the book of Job and he goes through this horrific time talking about enjoying hardship right he goes through this horrific time and scripture says at the end that God restored him back twice what he' lost right uh which is just really interesting thing so in other words that whole situation was redeemed but it was redeemed in certain ways as in his wealth was twice what it was beforehand there were certain things which were better but he still lost family members through the whole thing and he still had to deal with the loss of his family yeah you know mad yeah mad is the right way so yeah yeah it's um it's one of those says I'm I I it's there I I believe that that period of your life can be redeemed um I don't think that always means that we can escape the consequences yeah of things that have happened yeah yeah but I think um I think it was it is just one of those things where we just just trust God yeah um as as cliche and Christian as that sounds yeah I think that that's tends to be what the answer always is really but it's true like even if you're ever in doubt just going going to him and you know whether you're making like big decisions of like do I do this or do I do this or you know just go the more time you spend with God the more you know his voice the more he knows how to talk to him more you know how to hear him and then you'll know whether he's telling you to do this or this if you you know if you're regretting something or if something's really painful going to him because he knows what you need yeah um more so than you do and um he's got it all he's got it all got it all what was the name of the book so amazing you bought this up the subject of regret God bless uh I really wish I could remember the name of the book but it's by Daniel Pink So if you Google Daniel pink regret um I think it will come up like I say it's not a Christian book so I don't I don't know if I'd build a theology from what he said and I'm very keen that we don't crowd and I don't think the Bible and I don't think Christianity is about self-help in a lot of ways you know um I think it's easy to try and make it about self-help but it is still a fascinating book to read um and so yeah I think it's called The Power of regret or something like that uh so so um yeah enjoy that as they say so count the cost count the cost of following Christ it's not always straightforward so I guess the question here is if I if I look on my life what are some of the things that God's asked me to do which are slightly outside of my comfort zone um that I have to be intentional in doing it's a really fascinating question for me because I I don't know if you can grow that much inside your comfort zone if that makes sense yeah yeah yeah yeah um and you see that a lot don't you you you actually see that in the physical body muscles don't grow unless they're stretched um I I wish I could just sit here and just watch my biceps grow that would be amazing yeah yeah yeah yeah it seems like God has has ordained it in such a way that actually it's in the hardship it's in the it's in the stress it's when things are not going right that we actually grow the most I don't know if you found that yes I would say um yes sorry I'm in my head I'm distinguishing the difference between like having gone through like a hard thing that I've then learned from and then like recognizing the importance then of of things like you know spiritual disciplines that aren't necessarily like as painful as the hardships that you end up going through so um yeah not saying like put yourself what you mean by spiritual disciplines um just like you know spending time with God every day praying you know um fasting all those things that you know can sometimes feel like a bit of inconvenience if you're not in the right head space for it um but actually just like you can't you need to exercise as you're saying to to look after your body sometimes you just really can't be bothered and some days you're really like yeah I'm going to go for a run or like yeah I'm going to praise the Lord um but I'm never I'm going to go for a r never um but you know it's the discipline of like actually I know that this is a good thing for me to do yeah so I'm going to do it and that's the that's the discipline is it and sometimes that feels really uncomfortable yeah um and sometimes it doesn't and that's the same well a similar thing of um I just going to try and distinguish that I think there's a line between like oh you have to go you have to put yourself through difficult things to be able to grow because I don't think that's quite the same thing but I think that's an unnecessary distinction because that's obviously not what you're saying um fair play yeah yep fair play Go says it's true I oh here we go look I have healthy kids food a house and a job very blessed but my heart gets heavy at times yeah no I bet it does mate I bet it does bless it and all of that yeah uh I've had a horrendous year this year in some way says mree but having more time to pray and recover this year has been a highlight in order to recover my mental health yes that's the other thing isn't it it's like never waste a good trial you know uh when you find yourself in difficult times or hard times yeah it's like God what are you saying in this right and and actually never waste a good trial because there's a lot of learning that can happen in them yeah um there's no doubt about it so any anything else anything I mean you took lot notes anything else in your notes in the last few minutes I think we've already we've already covered it um yeah oh I've just hit the mic sorry full circle eh Smack That mic with my book um how well very very good well done how did you find it your first hosting yeah it was fun enjoyed it you're just so cool ell yeah so chilled out and laid back me I'd be like talking about things isn't it yeah it's nice having a chat yeah yeah it's always good fun always good fun well that's uh that's the end of conversation Street we'll draw that to an end there thank you so much don't break the mic he's very good at telling you what to do after you've done it I've noticed this yeah good I suppose that's the nature of the whole live stream is it it's a little out of sink isn't it yeah oh B Kelli again there we go oh get the dates in this is what Matt wrote in the comments if you can't see I can add it to broadcast there we go belli again uh promote the zoom yes I will all right Matt calm down um so uh yes thank you for joining us so just to let you know a few things um every Wednesday we have a zoom online group uh come join us on the zoom if you'd like to join an online community that Matt's talking about here where he says promote the zoom um that's basically what we do we just get together few of us on Zoom we'll chat we'll catch up we'll pray we'll do all those kind of good things if you'd like to join us we'd love to see you in there uh if you go to the website www.c crow. church or find us on social media at crowd church and just reach out to us we will let you know those details uh Susan by the way oh s stands for Susan Susan brilliant thanks for the laughter uh laughter helps it does yeah it does but you do a whole another episode on that couldn't you yeah says in the Bible Mary heart does good like a medicine it's so good and yeah that's yeah and if you need to laugh my advice go watch anything by Tim Hawkins oh all right have you come across Tim Hawkins hi Christian stand-up comedian which I appreciate sounds like an oxymoron yes sure does hang on Christian standup comedian what are you talking about but I can tell you the chat is exceptionally funny he's got a lot of videos on YouTube yeah and uh in 2018 I went over to the states with Josh and Zach just dad's and lad's trip just brilliant loved it and we managed to go see him live in Connecticut we went and stayed with some folks and we went over to Connecticut and watched him live at the end of that set I was like I'm like please can you just stop telling jokes because my sides were hurting so much so good yeah he's really good really good so just go ever need to laugh go watch Tim HW so good have a giggle Ellie give Matt his an give Matt his ancient one pills I don't get that reference oh it's just he he likes to call me ancient one oh okay and then you have a pill to make you not ancient if I did have such pill I would be selling them I'd make an absolute Fortune the ultimate youth pill brilliant uh so yes it's great to connect with you thanks for joining us um like I said if you'd like to know more about crowd head over to the website www.c crow. church if you want to know more about the zoom everything's on there www. crow. Zoom you can reach out to us on social media we'd love to connect with you uh so coming up in next week what we got next week oh I don't do you remember no obviously not obviously we talked about it an hour ago we talked about and I did write stuff down and just looked at and went there's no way I can read that I'll read it at all absolutely not I can see those things cirle but I don't know what the circles mean uh well it's just it's highlight and stuff for me to so next week yes we are talking about biblical world viw I say we it's me uh I'm doing the talk next week uh we have Dan and will hosting so will sorth he's another first timer oh that's fun isn't it yeah he was in the comments earlier I don't know if it's if if we still around but he his first time hosting next week like year he's done talks a crowd but next week's going to be hosting so treaty he's such a legend will a he's such an an absolute Legend love the bones off the man he's such a great guy and so I'm excited for next week yes you've got will and Dan hosting you've got me doing the talk all about biblical World Views glorious yeah let's go with yes I'm just racking my brain was he I don't know I hope you enjoy the talk I hope you find it challenging and informative all at the same time uh so his hand sketch is the best are you talking about me nich my hand sketch I'm not quite sure isn't that the comedy comedy man oh yeah yeah yeah comedian sorry yeah yeah Tim Hawkins his hand sketch is the best uh yes he's talking about I should play that on crowd church he talks about what happens when you I I get it now Nicholas sorry I he he's got this routine where uh I think if you just Google or go to YouTube and put in Tim Hawkins Worship hands all right and what Christians do with their hands during worship yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm with you I'm I can I can imagine it yeah yeah just after this live don't do it now when the live streams ended just go Google on YouTube Tim Hawkins Worship hands and it will come up I'm fairly sure it will come up uh and it's if you've been around Church any length of time you will find that hysterical um so I think that's good I think we'll end the live stream there Ellie thank you for joining me been a pleasure thanks for having me you coming back sure why not so cool got nothing better to do so know if I if I get the curtains up next time oh dear brilliant we need to go get your Christmas tree that's what we need see yes absolutely yes so Merry Christmas everyone I hope you find Advent interesting Advent is a fascinating time just to reflect on the story of Jesus the birth of Christ coming up December 25th in case you didn't know happy birthday Jesus uh we've got a Christmas service this year uh when is it Matt will know um I will tell you you now when it is cu I've got the information here so next week we are talking about world view and then we have our non live live stream where is it here it is 24th Christmas Eve Cy Christmas Eve it's a Christmas OB I'll by my Christmas tree listening to crowd Church while he's by the in your headphones while she buy the I don't want that one uh out the two that are left for there's always loads left and they're always really good quality yesterday when we went we went with Jenny and Rob Jenny used to live with us she's a paramedic she got married last year yeah to a guy called Rob who's also a paramedic two of the funniest people in the planet and so we go and choose a tree I'm like I want one that's really wide and bushy because it sits in our bay window lovely yeah sadf was like I want one that's a bit narrower because we don't have a big bay window and I still want to be able to access my room which was sensible and then Jenny walked over to the guy and said I just want one that smells really nice it is the smell that's the best bit about isn't it real Christmas trees so we were all walking around smelling the trees he must have thought what's wrong with you I think this one smells better Jen oh that's so nice a now I want a Christmas tree you should totally go get one I can recommend the guy go buy a Christmas tree and get the decorations on it so yeah get your Christmas tree up if you haven't done so already uh but yes that's it from us thank you so much for Jo us have a fantastic week uh I think that's it for me is that it from you that's it that's it okay awesome bless you guys see you soon thanks for joining us bye for now thank you so much for joining us here on crowd church now if you are watching on YouTube make sure you hit the Subscribe Button as well as that little tiny bell notification to get notified the next time we are live and of course if you are listening to the podcast uh the live stream podcast make sure you also hit the follow button Now by Smashing the like button on YouTube or writing a review on your podcast platform it helps us reach more people with the message that Jesus really does help us live a more meaningful and purposeful life so if you haven't done so already be sure to check out our website www.c crow. church where you can learn more about us as a church more about the Christian faith and also how to connect into our church Community it has been awesome to connect with you and you are awesome it's just a burden you have to bear and hopefully we'll see you next time that's it from us God bless you